Sunday, October 28, 2007

Standing

What he feared the most had happened. Life had intervened and he had to take a step back. They had been together for 4 years now,4 years worth of time with friendship worth a lifetime. Cupid never struck them. Their friendship was simple. It was ideal...no expectations what so ever,both ready to only give and keep giving.

As he looked at her for the last time that day, he saw a face that held itself strong,minimal expressions, a pair of eyes that had lost it's glitter and was probably the only tell tale sign of despair. She was smiling as she heard him say goodbye. He never understood why.

It's been 20 years to that incident.They have both travelled down the roads of life oblivious to each other. As he seats himself and waits for the flight to take off, his mind envisions that young,strong face....a face that while smiling, cried in agony with no tears shed. He wondered how much must have changed in that face...if at all it had changed.He relived moments they had spent together...randomly.With each episode,he writhed in pain of not letting her be part of the journey he had taken hence. There was nothing he could do,she had asked for it. She was moving on with life and could not take him along.It was time to part she had told him. But do friends part by merely an end to communication, an ignorance of geographic location, a lapse of time and all the events it brought along? Doesn't friendship live on with a silent prayer for each other, a moment of thought in all those special moments, in the feeling of missing that person in the most beautiful times of life? Aren't friends soul mates?

A complete stop to communication and a request to step out and never make an effort to return had chained him from sending the prayers across in words..said or written, of acknowledging the influence of her existence and the effect of it. It took him an effort to hold back the happiness, the pain, the purity of a simple thought going across to her. But he did it, coz he respected her wishes. Was this friendship?

He wondered if he would ever see her again. And if he did....what would he do? Would he go up to her,talk to her? What would he say? Where would he start from? It wasn't the first time that these questions had plagued him. They were there from the time he had said goodbye.
Just as they plagued him one more time, He saw her. He knew it the moment he set his eyes on her. She was just the same inspite of evidence of all the years that had gone by. He just sat still,soaking into her face.It had been a while since he had seen the glitter in her eyes.It was there right now...the shimmer of eyes that have been soaked in happiness. It filled him with a serene feeling...a feeling of content knowing that she was fine and just as happy as he had wanted her to be. Could he break the rule for a minute and exchange a few words with her or should he honour her words and fall silent? He decided to do the latter.
After all she must have had a reason to do what she did,so what if he doesn't know anything about it. He had learnt to trust her decisions blindly, unquestioned....for friendship was all about trust.