Sunday, July 30, 2006


I was out with a "friend" whom I had never met until a week back! We were out one fine sunday morning with no plan on mind. As we drove about and finally landed at a coffee place, we got into a 'tell-me-about-u' chat. Not knowing anything apart from his name and that he was an alumnus of my school, there was a lot to know.

As we got into the 'know-me' session, we were judging each other. I was assessing if his principles and philosophies of life are the same as mine, ( If they are, it essentially means that they are right!!) and he was checking out if I was 'kewl' (cool)!! (I found that out by asking him.) That aroused a thought. Who defines what is 'cool'? What is 'cool'? Things that are'cool' to me may not be so for someone else. In that case, is it that I am 'uncool' or is he?

Ultimately, we just let the judgement be and realised that we were actually comfortable in each other's company, so we should just go ahead and have some fun! And that was what we did. I thought that was 'kewl'!

Thursday, July 27, 2006


Mel as I call her, was my desk partner in school. I was new to the school and she had been recently shifted to this section. We were thus both new to the class. She had a few good friends in the class,but they already had partners. So it was evident that she had to take the only place empty, which was, beside me.

The period (as we referred to lecture hours then) began as soon as she settled herself into the desk which definitely was small for her. So we just exchanged smiles. Throughout the period, she kept turning back to appraise her good friend on why the change, how it happened and what each official in the process told her..the usual lengthy girlie description of anything small that happens!! Finally it was break time, she smiled and said " I am going to the canteen. Would you like to join?" and I politely declined. (There were too many boys there and I was scared!!) When she came back, she asked me the ususal set of questions that gave an identity to kids in school....parents' occupation,where I stay and which bus do I come by,who in that bus does she know?

For the next two years we were partners and had become friends..good friends.

Then she broke a news that changed the course of our friendship. She had recently shifted to the same campus as mine. Now, every evening was spent with Mel. I hooked her onto sports, we would play badminton in the local club,something she never dreamed she would get herself to do. We would take long walks in the dry, hot desert weather even in the peak of summer!A lot of heart to heart talks, exchange of positive energy and all those inspirational things between friends happened seated on the floor of the front steps of my place under the moon and stars, until either of our mom's high pitched call was heard!!Weekends were spent at each other's place.. studies,fun and all. Between us, I was the moral police and she was the adventurous teenager. For every small thing I was her biggest advisor.

Years have passed by.... we were seperated and reunited.... thanks to "further studies"! She has matured with time and so have I.

Today as we meet, is the two school friends who share their secrets and two adults who do the friend, philosopher, guide act.

This post is to celeberate you Mel!


The phone rings. I pick up and say " No.Yes.yes.No." The questions asked "have you had your breakfast?" "Are you doing your course work?" " Do you plan to have your breakfast in a while?" "have you had your bath yet?" the person on the other siode of the dad!! expression on my face..bored!! I have had this conversation with my dad every time he calls up, ever since I left home to become independent!!

Staying away from him I realised that behind these fixed questions was a heart that missed the child in me and behind those bored monosyllable answers was a daughter who missed her dad. I missed him. Missed all the times I slept off on the couch and he would gently place my head back on a pillow,the smile and a pat that I always got when I lost a badminton match at the local club, the drives he would take me out for when he wanted me to open up with my bottled feelings, the long quiet walks, the philosophical chats, the laughter watching the Tom& Jerry show together, the hiking and adventures we took together, the times we pulled mom's leg and stole a smile from each other, the times I argued with mom and he would just wink at me while verbally supporting her..unforgettable and exquisetly warm memories.

As I am getting older and realise that my days at home are numbered, I can't help but think how much this man means to me. His constant concern,thoughtfulness, warmth, unconditioned love, pride in me and the feeling of peace wrapped in his arms...are some of the few things I will miss.

We are not very vocal when it comes to exchanging these emotions. But I know, he knows and he knows that I know!!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Refreshing old times!

The last thing I ever thought was getting close to my schoolmates. Surprised? well,that's how my school was. Schooldays forced a divide between the two genders due to the system of the institution I studied in. It was sinful to look,talk or even walk the corridor of the boys and vice versa. Who exactly determined these rules is not known, just that nobody seemed to defy them.

Years have passed by now. I made a lot of boys my friends on the way,some of them very close. Yet, something about school friends intrigues me. Something about them, inspite of the lack of familiarity, doesn't give me a feeling of strangeness. There is a trust that seems to come easily and naturally.

I met up with one such friend yesterday. We clicked from the time we set eyes on each other. It din't take a minute for both of us to have excited animated discussions, catching up with each other's life,pulling each other's leg, relating to the ups and downs of life, just feeling comfortable in each other's company. This is not restricted to just this friend of mine..but all my schoolmates. A certain warmth and comfort is exuded between us.

In a new place, these friendships have made me feel at home. I guess , there is magic in the friendship!

Friday, July 14, 2006

My ' white' world...

I can never stay still,even in silence. I to the sound of silence,the rythm of my heart beat,the rythm of the clock ticking, the rythm of that music that constantly runs at the back of one's head,unconsiously. can't see my hands in the air or my body swaying. But I dance.

Once on a rainy day,standing by the window,watching the leaves dance as the droplets fall on them,the blades of grass swaying vigorously and the branches of trees swinging wildly, I descended on my dance floor. An instrumental piece played on the santoor,running inthe background, dressed in white against a backdop of white... I began my creation.

Working with simple flow movements of my hands, I began depicting the 'moments' of water....

A drop growing into a trickle,flowing into a healthy stream,collecting more volume,flowing more forcefully...... now a river..slashing against rocks,forming waterfalls,flowing rapidly to join the calmness of the sea.

I saw a pattern of life that converges into the concept of these moments.

The drop- genesis of life,Birth ;
Trickle-childhood ;
stream- the brink of youth ;
river- adulthood brimming with zeal and energy, moving steadily ahead to conquer the world ;
calmness of the sea - The peace of mind at the later stage of the life cycle that comes with an understanding of the magnanimity of life and it's various colours.

I dance. No, you can't see my dance floor. You can't hear my music. You can't see my movements. But I dance.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

wise words!!

A poster put up in a coffee shop that read:

'The difference between a failure and a success is someone who does a thing NEARLY right and a someone who does it EXACTLY right'

..loved it..thought would share it..

Saturday, July 01, 2006

I've lost it... completely!!

I am just days away from travelling to a whole new place, a place people dream of going once in their lifetime (most people I know, do). And I am nervous as hell!! Not because of the elation I might feel setting my eyes on the country or travelling to the place..(wish it was that way!!) but, coz I am going there to give the biggest exam of my career so far.The stakes are high , the chances pretty grim and the preparation waaaaayyy below satisfaction!

What a way to visit a new place.. that too on a tourist visa! I really don't know what I am touring, but I do know, at the end of this trip I would be getting out of a roller coaster ride!! Call it paradox of life!!

If that's how I am positioned.. then what am I doing here typing away to glory!! That's a question I asked myself a little while ago and my conscience beckons me to get back to books, so off I go!

Did anyone mention "Have a nice trip!!" ????