Thursday, December 28, 2006

Should I or should I not?

Life is about change. But I sometimes wonder what drives us within to will the change? There are so many things different about each person, so how does one decide what part of them needs to change ? How do you know that a certain change will definitely do you good? How do you decide the line upto which you can allow yourself to change?

They say an answer to these questions is a test to your integrity as an individual. Sometimes it is about being socially acceptable, sometimes about making things more feasible, sometimes just being adventurous, sometimes trying to make a prettier picture of your individuality, sometimes it is about standing out. Do we change for any other reason? And how far can you or must you go to achieve the purpose of your change?

I agree that life is monotonous when there is no change. The entire mystery of life revolves around the timing, content and effect of a change. But just how far is one ready to go to add that zing to life?

Monday, December 04, 2006


There were many firsts between us.
The first acknowledgemnet of each other's existence.
The first time we had a coffee, sharing parts of our lives, as friends.
The first walk, the first phone call, the first time we lingered longer at the bus stop, the first night long chat we had...
The first time the air between us got heavy and we sensed the change in the perspective of our relationship.
The first dinner we had celeberating our commitment to each other.
The first recognition of our inability to live without each other.
The first kiss.
The first fight we had.
The first time we dressed as the bride and groom.
The first meal I cooked.
The first weekend we enjoyed,wrapped in each other's arms, staring at the window, rain drops hitting hard.
The first party we had.
Our first child and all her firsts..
The first time we stood as proud parents, watching her hands loosen from our grasp and clasp tightly the hands of the young man she had found herself.
The first time we glanced into the eyes of our grandchild.

There are countless such firsts...each one equally significant as the ones mentioned. Each one associated with an, despair, restlessness, excitement, anxiety and some inexplicable.

This was the first milestone that left me emotionless....numb.

This was the first time, I couldn't hear him breathe.