Forgive and forget is what most experienced preach.When one is the victim of a wrong doing, it is hard enough to fight the situation, redeem oneself, summon the power of healing - add to that forgive and then forget. I"ve never had a hard time forgiving, it's forgetting that gets to me.
I have noticed myself trying to reason with wrong doing, analyse the 'why' part of it, try to figure out if there was anything I could do to not bring it upon myself. Recently I've realized that most times than not, these occurrences have nothing to do with me. I thrust myself with the responsibility of avoiding the pain I feel, so hard, that I make myself believe that it was all in my hands. Yes, it is in my hands to not feel the pain of it all, but inflicting that pain is not. No matter how many such experiences I've had, I never cease to blame myself for all the pain I feel,coz after all, it is in my hands to not feel.
How 'not forgetting' helps, is by allowing the recognition of situations, to muster up strength and shield oneself this time. Duck before the hurt is hurled at you! How 'not forgetting' does not help, is obviously by the constant memory and thus the perpetual need to heal. 'Not forgetting' warrants constant healing.
How forgetting helps, is by letting one move ahead with courage. The fear of being hurt is gone, coz the pain of it is forgotten. When it comes again, it's a new experience. This needs the power of resilience.
I've realized over time that my power of healing is way stronger than my power of resilience.In fact I never recognized the existence of resilience. Hence, I never forget the pain, constantly summon my power of healing, remain guarded at all times and yet try to live fully; take in the adventure of life that constantly holds promise and yet threatens to challenge you with precipices and gorges.
I've always thought very highly of the power of healing, specially mine, coz it has never let me down. But now, I see the energy I put in to keep this power propelling, the slow and guarded manner with which I try to live life 'fully'. If I shield and duck so much, how can I stand up straight and see clearly? How can I scale the precipices and see what is on the other side, if I hold myself back? How will I ever learn to soften my fall in the gorges if I constantly concentrate on all the pain I might feel with the thud?
The power of healing helped me move on from the painful experiences. It is a power very much needed, specially in those initial stages of recovery. But, what is needed right after, is the power of resilience. For this power brings with it courage- the one quality that life demands if one truly wants the experience. With courage, comes the ability to forget.
So, here I am, evoking the 'power of resilience'- the one that enables you to recoil, spring back; that lets you experience life fearlessly, in it's entirety.
The power that lets you forget.